Never one to consider myself territorial, I was somewhat taken aback today when some cars pulled into the Jail and out poured 15 women over the age of 50. This is nothing new as we often have groups of ladies who pop in for meetings and cream tea, what caught me today was the large stroppy woman who got them in a semi circle and started to give them a tour! OK I thought I will just see how this develops as I sipped my coffee and smoked my cigar. The lady proceeded to wave her arms about like some kind of authority on all things jail related, giving her clients the wrong usage of the buildings the wrong dates for construction of the jail and just generally being wrong on all accounts, but she did it with such flair that her clients were lapping it up. Now what got me seeing the red flag was a sweet lady who turned to me and said “She is very good isn't she?” brilliant came my reply, I would have let her get away with her expert tour but! I saw a moment to strike up a conversation with this expert “are you conducting a tour” was my question? NO ITS PRIVATE ONLY came the short sharp comment with a look at me like I had just crawled out from under a stone. I believe that in Spain this is the moment when the Bull charges at the red flag and gore's the bull fighter right up the back passage, trumpets sounded and the crowd cheered “Toro” I stood up like Clint Eastwood facing the gun men “get a coffin ready” eyes squinting in the rare Cornish sunlight I took a drag on my cigar, before adopting a stance like Horatio from CSI Miami, well madam, I said looking her square in the eyes, I am the tour guide round here so if you want a tour you pay at the bar!! looking like a rapidly deflating Mr Blobby she rounded up her group and went into the jail, being psychic I knew what was coming, “mark can you do a tour for 15” no sorry I am busy came my reply but the lady can take her tour now that she has paid. Satisfaction comes in many forms.
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| Its true you can walk on water when motivated |
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